


And Now That We've Come to The End of Our Road

by Patchwork_Author



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, fuck everything, here have some sads, post-Parting Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 15:17:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6334072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patchwork_Author/pseuds/Patchwork_Author
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the second he steps foot back on base, Mack is different. It’s a quiet change, the kind they can’t really put their finger on or verbalize right away, but they all feel it.</p><p>A drabble looking at Alphonso Mackenzie when Bobbi Morse is gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Now That We've Come to The End of Our Road

From the second he steps foot back on base, Mack is different. It’s a quiet change, the kind they can’t really put their finger on or verbalize right away, but they all feel it.

 They all miss Bobbi and Hunter. They all lost two friends, two valued members of their team.

 But Mack carries the loss differently. Understandably. He doesn’t mope, not outwardly, but he holds himself tighter. He goes back to work without a word, when the rest of them are leaning on each other.

 The second day, Coulson comes to visit him in his workshop. “Mack, I’d like to talk with you. Come up to my office when you have a minute.”

 “New mission?” he asks.

 “Call it a personal meeting,” Coulson says, and Mack’s mouth turns down at the corners.

 “If you don’t mind, sir, I think I’ll stay here. I’m an adult, I can take care of myself.”

 Coulson. “I won’t push you, but I do think you’d fare well to come see me soon.”

 Mack nods, though he knows he won’t be making a personal visit any time soon.

 Over the next few days, they start to figure out what’s different. His smiles come less easily, far less easily, and when they do they’re less bright. They don’t quite reach his eyes. He does his job as efficiently as ever, still makes quips, but when the job is done at the end of the day, he goes to his workshop or bunk, and they hardly see him.

 He still isn’t _moping_ , he’s just drifting. They’re all trying to cope, and this is how Mack does it.

 “I know what it’s like, you know,” Fitz says to him one day. They’re sitting on the couch, Mack has an xbox controller on his lap but he’s not playing anything. “When Jemma was at HYDRA and I thought she’d left. It’s different now, but it felt the same.”

 Mack nods. And then there was the space rock. That wasn’t easy, either. “I know.”

 “If you want to talk-”

 “I don’t,” he says, taking a pull from a bottle of beer. He sets it on the armrest and turns it back and forth absently, watching the soggy label start to bubble and wrinkle. “I want them back.”

 Fitz doesn’t say anything more for a minute. “We all do. Someday, maybe.”

 Mack lets out a humorless laugh. “A far-stretched maybe.” He settles back against the couch. “I’ve known Bobbi for so long. And we’re spies, we know this life comes with uncertainty but…I still never thought she’d be gone. Not gone-gone.” At least she's still alive.

 Though, he wouldn’t ever really know if that changed.

 “She was your best friend,” Fitz agrees.

 Mack nods. “Yeah, she was.”

 “And you never told her…”

 Mack’s not surprised. He and Fitz get each other. Fitz is an observant little shit. Mack just sighs and nods, still looking at her bottle. Whatever their relationship was, straddling friendship and something more, it didn’t matter now. “We never talked about it, we just were. And now we’ll never just be again.”

 Fitz gives him a small, sad smile, pats his leg and then stands up. “Never say never.”

 Mack sits alone for a long stretch of time, just staring at the wall.

 Once he does get up, he goes to Coulson’s office.

 “Mack. It’s good to see you.”

 Mack gives a small shrug. “I didn’t want to come up, but, I do trust you. I figure you wouldn’t ask if you didn’t have a reason.”

 “You’re right, I do have a reason.” Coulson reaches for something on his desk and lifts up a folded piece of paper. “I circled back to the bar later. This was left with their check. I wanted to give it to you, but not in front of everybody. It’s yours, not ours.”

 He hands it to Mack, and Mack can see his name scrawled on it. He doesn’t know what to do. He takes the paper, nods his thanks, and walks to his bunk.

 Mack just sits with it for a while. He couldn’t finish his shot in the bar, because it was too final. Reading this, though, will be nailing that coffin shot. He does finally find the will to unfold it, though.

  _Mack,_

  _There’s no time and too much to say. So I’ll start with this._

_Thank you. I would not have chosen anyone else to have by my side for so many years. To stand with when everything was crumbling around us._

_This is harder than I thought._

_Take care of them. But also take care of yourself, please._

Mack smiles, though it hurt. She and Hunter should’ve been the ones taking care of themselves.

  _I hope we’ll see each other again._

_Again, thank you. So much is going unsaid, but I hope you have some idea of the things I’d say if we had time._

_I can’t imagine life without you, but I guess now I’m going to have to try. Please don’t get all mopey. Your smile is too nice to hide away._

_Love,_

_Barbara._

Love, Barbara. It’s so uncharacteristic of her, and that was how he knew how devastated she was. She had wrestled with putting as much of herself down on that paper before she left.

 He lets out a slow breath, it feels like someone Lash’s size was sitting on his chest. He tucks the letter away in his nightstand. He just sits on the bed for a moment, feels his heart hammering against his ribs.

 There’s a knock on his door. “Mack?” It’s Simmons.

 “Yeah?”

 “We’re all playing cards if you want to come out.”

 Mack nods, though she can’t see him through the door. “Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”

 He thinks about Bobbi’s letter. Her last request. Not to get all mopey. It feels like his body and mind are rusting over but he pushes past that and heads out to where the team is sitting. Daisy smiles and hands him a beer.

 For the first time in days, he forces his smile to be as warm as ever, and he takes a seat. They all seem noticeably happy at the change. “So, what’re we playing?”

 Coulson chuckles. “That’s the hardest part of game night – getting everyone to agree on what to do.”

 It’s a team and part of him feels like an outsider, but he’s been folded in enough now that they’re his team, too. And they won’t let him forget that, which he appreciates.

The table dissolves into bickering over which game to play, and May catches his eye and rolls her eyes, though she’s smiling.

 Mack nods.

 He leans back, soaking in the feeling and silently thanking Bobbi the way she thanked him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is me coping. I am not doing a good job.


End file.
